Childlike Joy

,

“It is the childlike mind that finds the Kingdom” ~ Charles Fillmore

"Vous êtes ici pour permettre à la mission divine de l’univers de se déployer. Voilà à quel point vous êtes important !" Eckhart TolleMy childlike spirit is alive and real. I feel like a little girl again. Fearless and free. I am the living light of an Infinite Self. I feel guided, protected and loved wherever I go. Nothing is excluded from the totality of my Being. Everything is divine, sacred and welcome. I don’t want to fix or change anything. I let all be exactly as it is. Even the appearance of ego and evil is perfectly okay when it’s understood. I had to live in darkness so I could consciously return to the light again. It’s all part of the Divine Plan. The ego was nothing but the shadow to show me what I am not. I am indeed grateful for my suffering. It was my process of self-discovery and transformation. I now fly with the wings of joy. I have found freedom. Heaven is here and now.

I have returned home to my original self. Pure, whole and innocent. People may think I’m naive or that I have ‘lost the plot’ but I know what I have found is real. I have found the heart of me. The world no longer scares me because I know all people, places and things are not seperate from me. I’ve stopped feeling guilty and beating myself up. I am no longer the judge of what appears in awareness but the faithful witness of ever-unfolding wonder and beauty. Oh what a joy to exist! How can I not be ecstatic when I know life is living me? I find myself giggling, smiling and crying for no reason. I have fallen in love again. I am in love with life.

Aimee xx

True Beauty

“If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely” ~ Roald Dahl

Society has told us that if we have a symmetrical face, full features and a toned body then we are beautiful. But some of the most attractive people I have known have been the ugliest on the inside. This is because they use their external beauty as a free pass to treat people like crap. Trust me, I used to be one. I would hide behind my external beauty to cover up the fact I felt incredibly ugly on the inside. This ugliness was feelings of jealousy, possessiveness and anxiety. I was terrified to be myself. My mind was like a constant bully that would torture me day and night with thoughts of not being skinny, pretty or good enough.

Then one day I realised true beauty is actually the depth of your heart and freedom of your soul. The most beautiful people are those that radiate with joy, laughter and love. When we discover the fullness of our being, people can see it in the sparkle of our eye and the warmth of our smile. To live from the spiritual heart is to be eternally beautiful.

Thank God because botox is expensive.

Aimee xx

 

Painting: Jeanne Bonine

Return to Light

,

“A pure heart open to the light, will be filled with the very essence of truth” ~ Rumi

We are all destined to return to the Light. Yippie! Children are already living this light but they do not know it consciously. It is only by experiencing adulthood, the opposite of childhood, that one is able to know through retrospect the purity and innocence of being a child. Thus, we experience darkness and suffering so we may consciously return to light and love.

This Light of Life is what the scientist calls the quantum particle, the religious leader calls the Christ Light and the spiritual teacher calls Enlightenment. It is the unchanging Light inside every human being. This Light has never befallen into darkness or delusion for it is eternally Self-Aware; forever beholding and witnessing its divine attributes and characteristics. This human experience is not about finding a ‘personal’ identity but rather realising we are already the living light of an Infinite Self. But only the childlike will know this is true because insight comes not with arduous study but with a gentle touch.

This discovery for me has been a re-birth into original purity and innocence. Upon discovering this Light, I feel exactly as I did when I was a child. Fearless and free. Childhood memories and feelings flooded back that I thought were long forgotten. To my surprise this discovery was not dead and stagnant as the word ‘Enlightenment’ is often thought to be but rather emotion and real.  It is a sensual experience of feeling, tasting, smelling and seeing the mystical beauty of existence. This life is a living miracle.

I get excited about the smell of fresh cut grass. I am brought to tears by my favourite piece of music. And I get to love others just as they are without wanting to fix or change them. Finding the Light within myself, I see the Light in every man. Life is still bumpy, but just like a child on a bike I love the adventure. My Inner Light now leads the way.

Aimee xx

Faults and All

“I always find beauty in things that are odd and imperfect – they are much more interesting” ~ Marc Jacobs

You don’t need to get rid of your ego. Horray! For only the ego wants to get rid of itself. You don’t even need to change or fix your personality. For so many years I was trying to kill my ego. I would act saintly, holy and enlightened. I would meditate for hours. I would read spiritual books for hours. I would be miserable for hours. I was always trying to be someone I was not. Then I got so fed up with it all I just decided to be myself. I couldn’t stop laughing when I realised true freedom is that simple. Just accept myself as I am; imperfectly perfect. Faults and all.

I now love ALL the parts of myself, even the unloveable parts I so desperately tried to change. I used to get so frustrated because I would speak too quickly, say the unspiritual thing or laugh too hard. I tried to suppress all these things because I considered them ‘bad’. But my very attempts to get rid of these parts made me unloveable. I became cold, withdrawn and judgemental. Now I embrace every GOD DAMN aspect of the Perfect Identity I am. It’s so amazing that the more you love every aspect of yourself the less you function as the ego. There was nothing I needed to heal or fix but simply return to my joyful being.

I don’t feel guilty anymore about being me! I am still moody. I am still sensitive. I am still a Debbie downer sometimes. But it’s all okay. I don’t beat myself up about it. I cry tender human tears and live with an open-vulnerable heart.  So never ever give up your authenticity, truth and heart for the ideas of what it means to be a ‘perfect’ person. It doesn’t exist. May you be okay with just being good old you.

Aimee xx

Don’t Be So Serious

, ,

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive” ~ Elbert Hubbard

I have discovered something wonderful. I have stopped being so serious. I have stopped trying to be perfect. I have found the sweet freedom in laughing at myself. Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Try this
Give names to those various aspects of yourself that cause you grief. For example, I have four main ladies in my life. Firstly, let me introduce Ms Rushmore. She is the part of me that is always in rush. Even if I am not late, she decides it’s time to get in a panic. She makes me bite my nails and drive faster than I should.

Then I have Sad Sally. She doesn’t come that often but when she does she likes to make a statement. She makes me mope around and listen to sad music. She is usually very reflective and dwells on old traumatic childhood experiences.

Then I have Up Myself Mandy. She is the part of me that thinks I am way smarter, way prettier and way more spiritual than everyone else. She used to come a lot. She tends to be very friendly on the outside but incredibly judgmental on the inside. Her physical features include a slight eyebrow raise and pursed pout.

And lastly, let me introduce No-body Nelly. She is the part of me that believes I have transcended all my humanness because I am sooooo spiritual. Pretty much she thinks she is enlightened. Funny thing is, she gets easily irritated and enraged when people question her spiritual awakening.

So, there we go.

I have introduced you to my inner selves. Have a go naming your own. And when an one of them starts to demand your attention just welcome them with their proper title e.g. Good morning Debbie Downer. I guarantee you they will be gone quicker than Usain Bolt. For when you start to laugh at those parts of yourself you normally take so seriously, you will feel a lightness and joy within. For life doesn’t want you transcend any aspect of yourself, it simple wants you to take a good look at yourself and laugh. I’m serious!

Aimee xx

Sexuality and Spirituality

“Sexuality is completely natural. We should not ever condemn, fear or distort any of the beautiful and sacred properties of Nature” ~ Damien Carrion.

I spent many years suppressing my sexuality. As a young female, I was taught that sexual desires were not to be spoken about or acted upon. I felt huge shame when I started to have sexual impulses around 15 years old. I would get so angry that boys my age would be praised and venerated for having sex. My first sexual experience left me feeling empty and confused. Since I had grown up with ‘polite girl’ syndrome, I felt I wasn’t allowed to express or ask for what I liked sexually. Men came first both metaphorically and literally. My body was treated like an object rather than the beautiful, sensual and sensitive instrument it is.

I then suppressed my sexuality even more — I became a spiritual seeker. No, I didn’t become a free loving hippie. I became a solemn, strict and stringent seeker of truth. Most holy books I read declared, “sex is a sin”, “one must be celibate to achieve liberation” and “sexual desires are the root cause of suffering”. So, being the good little spiritual seeker I was, I decided not to entertain any desires or act upon them. But now I know what you resist persists.

I felt great shame and guilt in regards to my sexuality. It was only recently when seeing an ex-partner that I realised love cannot be suppressed. All the old feelings of love, sensuality and intimacy came back as quick as a light switch. Years of trying to annihilate, suppress and transcend my sexual desires was making me suffer. I now realise there is absolutely nothing wrong with sexual desires and impulses. It’s just that we think they are wrong.

For underneath all surface desires is our real desire — the desire to one with life. We have lost the most important intimacy of all; the intimacy with life moment-to-moment. This is the true love affair. And whether or not my sexuality is expressed with another human being… I am deeply in love with life. To me, this existence is a sensual experience — an explosion of love and light. So be true to you. Get in touch with your body. Ask for what you want. Explore, play and discover. Stop judging yourself. Be kind and gentle like a true lover.

Aimee xx

Now, Now, Now

,

Tell me, when do you read this book? …. when do you turn the pages? …. when do you think about what you just read (past)? …. when do you think about dinner (future)? …. NOW, NOW, NOW!

The end of suffering is realisation of who you truly are. You are not just a mortal frame here today and gone tomorrow. You are the Eternal Child. You are the Divine Awareness of all that appears in this space-time world. ‘Now’ is not just a dead concept squashed between the turkey sandwich of past and future. Absolutely not! Now IS the Living Presence of God. Everything that has ever been and ever will be – dinosaurs, galaxies, next door Nelly and your favourite coffee – arises in and AS this Divine Presence. This is the Eternal Life Jesus spoke of.

This doesn’t mean however, we walk around all high and mighty saying all is an illusion. How many spiritual folks have professed the illusionary nature of time before actually living as God’s Self-Awareness? Just because time is an illusion doesn’t mean we throw the world away like Tuesday’s garbage. How many non-dual schools declare, ‘the world is a dream’, ‘the physical world doesn’t exist’ and ‘transcend this world to be free’. Those statements may be grand when you sit with your ‘absolutey’ friends but tell me how helpful are they when you stare in the mirror and still see an ageing body full of lump and frump?

We don’t just sweep ‘space and time’ under the rug, as if it never existed. Linear time is to be understood not denied. As my friend William Samuel said, ‘this world of form (the external) is to delineate our formless Identity’. How would we know our true nature is timeless without the appearance of time? How would we know it is always Now without the belief of a past and future? How would we know we are the Mind of God without first being the mind of mortal?

We get off our spiritual high horse and come back down to this world of space and time. We shout Hallelujah once again. We don’t stay in the clouds of our Absolutey Metaphysical arrogance and we don’t stay in the dirt as a pseudo ego-identity full of trouble and woe. We rest at the place between. This is the Child way’s. As Jesus said, “to be in the world but not of the world” – this is the Holy Balance.

The appearance of time is used to our advantage as we tell our Selfhood about their TIMELESS identity. We don’t just sit philosophising about this – we get GOING! Whilst this body appears bound in space and time we use it to tell others of their Divine Heritage. We don’t stop till we drop (dead). This is the great secret. The Holy Knowing. Just like Jesus did, we think with the Mind of Holy Spirit (subjective) but we give with the hand of flesh (objective). This is LOVE, my friends.

And if this is all too many words for you, as it is for me, then just go and watch a falling leaf or listen to the song of the river. The greatest secrets are always baffling to the intellect and easily understood by the heart. For Truth is simple and gentle.

So tell me, does nature toss and turn about its seasonal past and unknown future? Or does it simply BE? What does a tree know about its shedding past or budding future? …is it not just always rooted in the PRESENT MOMENT?
… therein lies its beauty.

May you discover your beauty….Now!

Aimee xx

The Joy Measure

,

One of the major queries on my spiritual search was, “how do I know I am making progress?”.  Sometimes it was hard for me to know whether I was advancing on the spiritual path or not. It felt like a never-ending cycle of taking two steps forward only to take four steps backwards.

I used to think sitting in meditation for hours was taking two steps forward. I used to think rejecting the world and dismissing it as nothing more than illusion was true wisdom. I used to think enlightenment was a stop point where all problems would cease. I used to rely on spiritual teachings to measure my progress. Now I realise the only person to measure my spiritual progress is ME! It was when I did the opposite of what I thought I had to do or in other words ‘took four steps backwards’, that I felt the Truth directly. It was when I relaxed — let go of all spiritual practices, methods and teachings — that I found freedom!

Without a doubt I know that Life is my very identity. Life and I are one. No book, no teacher or teaching has to tell me that anymore. I know it is so. I don’t care if I have thoughts or desires, let them be there. I feel so much joy all the time — sometimes I can hardly stand it! Joy is the feeling I use to measure my spiritual progress not if I can stand on my head or be free from thought for 45 minutes.

Aimee xx

The Shadow Self

,

“This thing of darkness I honour mine” – William Shakespeare

We never get rid of our shadow self. To get rid or annihilate our shadow is to believe it’s real in the first place. There is a common misperception especially in metaphysical circles that we must destroy our ego. That we will only be free when we live in a thoughtless and emotionless state of pure awareness. What baloney! Let me say this again — there is nothing to get rid of and there is nothing to fix. Absolutely nothing! Our suffering is only to be understood. Our very desperate attempts to transcend the ego is only the ego in battle with itself.

Everything has its opposite. Light and Darkness. Good and evil. Right and wrong. Man and Woman. Day and Night. Imagine if there was no darkness? How would we ever know the light? The appearance of the ego is like the shadow of a tree. The shadow leads us directly the REAL tree — our true Identity.

To embrace our shadow is to see its purpose. Its purpose is to show us our real identity. For a shadow or a mirror is only a reflection of the Real Image. So when emotions of sadness, anger, guilt, regret and rage rise up like a deadly storm — let them! See them as a blessing. How could one ever appreciate a clear day without experiencing a storm? Rumi said, “the wound is the place where the lights enters you”. So be gentle with yourself, embrace your shadow self. It only wants to be understood and acknowledged. Remember Casper was a friendly ghost after all.

Aimee xx

Thank You

,

“If the only prayer you ever say in your life is ‘thank you’ that would suffice” ~ Meister Eckhart

Thank you, thank you thank you! Each morning I wake up and say thank you. Even when I am feel like crap I say, “thank you life for another beautiful day”. This is my prayer, my affirmation and my confirmation that life is indeed very good! Simply because I utter those two words every day my life continues to bloom in beauty and joy. What a miracle! Gratitude is the key to all abundance.

My greatest teachers were situations that shattered my arrogance and pride. These teachings came in the form of heartbreak, disappoints and illness. When those situations were happening it very hard to say, “thank you life”. In fact, I would scream and cry like a baby. It showed my ugly reactivity when I didn’t get my way. I would give a big thank you when I got the car or boyfriend I wanted but a big F*** you when I didn’t.

But I what I wanted is never what I needed. The Heart of me always knew just what I needed for self-discovery and transformation. I always think about someone like George Harrison who was the epitome of worldly success. Yet at the peak of his career he became disillusioned by fame. He saw the insanity of it all and returned to the simplicity of life. He said, so beautifully, “I don’t want to be a film star, I don’t even want to to be a pop star, I want to live in peace”.  To live in peace is to live in gratitude for each and every moment.

So I am so thankful for it all. The good and the bad. That no matter what happens in my outer circumstances, all is okay. And I am especially thankful for the massive scoop of ice-cream that is about to go into my BELLY!

Aimee xx